The Super Bowl, otherwise known as Christmas for Las Vegas, goes down today. Sure there’s plenty of beer, deep fried food, funny commercials and skanked-out waitresses to look forward to, but the real fun comes in the drunken gambling. The most popular bet of course is on who’s going to win…but that’s boring. Here are some more exciting ways to lose money and my picks. (Disclaimer: you roll with my picks at your own risk sucka)
1) Will any member of the Red Hot Chili Peppers be shirtless during their performance? (No +150)
I know these guys don’t own many shirts and love to show their ta ta’s; however, it’s going to be friggin’ cold outside. Also, after Janet showed her star nipple, there’s been a crackdown on showing skin. Me thinks the ageing rockers come out in some stylish John Varvatos suits.
2) How many times will Peyton Manning say “Omaha” during the game? (Under 27.5, +110)
OMAHA! Honestly, I respect the guy, but his pre-snap antics annoy the s@it out of me. He seems to say Omaha at every snap, so the over looks like an easy bet. However, I think Peyton’s realized this word has gotten way too much attention and just to mess people up he’ll come up with a completely new word, like ‘FAP!’ for example.
3) Will the announcers refer to Russell Wilson being drafted in the MLB? (Yes, +150)
Announcers love to bring up random shite like this during the game to keep the non-hardcore fans interested in the game. You know, like developing a character in a Hollywood movie.
4) Which song will Bruno Mars perform first? (Treasure 2/1)
I was contemplating Marry You at 7/1…
The opening song will likely be an uptempo song which means either the song I picked or Locked out of Heaven (3/1).
To be honest, I’ll be at the bar doing shots when he’s on stage…I like you Bruno…I just like bourbon more.
5) Will Wes Welker drop a pass in the game? (Yes -120)
There’s going to be one BOOM shot over the middle on Welker which means dropsies.
6) Will Percy Harvin be injured in the game? (Yes +200)
The guy is an amazing player, but he’s a magnet for game ending injuries.
7) What Color will the Gatorade (or liquid) be that is dumped on the Head Coach of the Winning Super Bowl Team? (Orange, 3/1)
I’m picking the Broncos to win the game and their colour is orange so…duh
8) What will happen with the Dow Jones the day after the Super Bowl? (Down, even)
Traders/Brokers will be too hungover to come to work or too broke from gambling to make any deals
9) What will be higher?
Total Goals scored by the Canadiens vs Winnipieg +120
Knowshon Moreno Receptions -150
Seriously…you can bet on anything…I’ll go with the total goals bet because both goalies will be thinking about what bets they will be putting down for the game and which mistress they will be watching the game with.
10) Longest Successful Field Goal in the Game (under 44.5 yards, -115)
2 amazing kickers in this game, but this game will be all touchdowns and chip shot field goals…BOOK IT
11) Which coach will be mentioned first by name after kickoff? (Pete Carroll – 130)
Let’s face it, Pete Carroll is just more interesting than his counterpart. My prediction is they’ll flash to Carroll and talk about the Seahawks keys to victory and then pan over to Peyton Manning and talk about what the Broncos need to win.
12) How many times will “12th man” be said during the game? (Under 2, +105)
I’m predicting the Broncos to roll the Hawks so no need to mention the loyal fans of the Hawks.
13) How many times will “Beast Mode” be said during the game? (Over 2, -135)
Marshawn Lynch is a beast and like I said earlier the announcers love to develop characters during the game. Wives around the world will be asking their whiskey donged hubbies (or Steve’s) to go Beast Mode on them tonight.
Ok fine I’ll finish this post up with the regular wagers.
Have fun watching the game and make sure you start thinking of your sick day excuse for tomorrow morning.